I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
