Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
