theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize