these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
