I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Come see our sink grown plant.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
