I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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