when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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