She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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