Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
