his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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