I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
