I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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