i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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