Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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