worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
