I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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