I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
