what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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