ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I love having hate sex.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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