I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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