All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
