Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize