hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
At least life still wants to fuck me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
