drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
