We won't sleep together?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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