so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize