i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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