Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look

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(802): View more from Vermont

Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade

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(541): View more from Oregon

ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!

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(904): View more from Florida

The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball

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(609): View more from New Jersey

There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.

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