he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.