But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
