Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I have post one night stand depression
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
