Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
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Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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