HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
time to smoke my breakfast
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
