Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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