i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
