but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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