I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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