Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
worst night to have a conscience
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
