Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
