i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Naked Twister starts at high noon
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
