i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't deserve a penis
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize