quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
