It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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