..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
