Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
