Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I want to stick my p in your. b.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
