Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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