so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
