So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
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I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
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It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine