it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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