sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo