I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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