Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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