My room smells like vodka and shame
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
