I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
