well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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