try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
