my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize