so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
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So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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