Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
