fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
