i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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