Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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