god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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