I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
True college students do jello shots in the library
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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