I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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