It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
