Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
