so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
