This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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