didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
