Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
